It's Holy Matrimony, Baby_The Casey Brothers Series Read online

  Beck stands in the middle of the grove, her arms wrapped around her waist, staring at the tree in front of her.

  “It was hit by lightning,” she says when I get to her. “But it’s still standing. That’s good, right?”

  “Don’t know.” I slip my hands into my pockets and shrug with my elbows. I’ve hated these trees so much for so long. Pretty sure I would have revelled in this mess at one point. Can’t find it in me to be happy about this now, though. “Could be dead inside. Or dying. It’s hard to tell.”

  “I hope not. I know it’s just a tree but...” She glances at me with wide, unhappy eyes as she reaches out to rub an already curling leaf between her fingers. “Those people who say that orange trees are a symbol of a good relationship also say that a fallen one is a sign of a break up. And death.”

  “I thought you said they were still just trees.” Don’t like the idea that in her head she’s imagining our marriage is dying too.

  “I know.” She turns and walks back to me. “I know I’m being dramatic again. Trees are trees and curses are only real if you believe in them, but...”

  “You still have doubts.”

  “I can’t quite shake them. After everything that’s happened over the years. And this feels like a warning. Doesn’t it feel like a sign to you? All these trees knocked over.”

  “A big storm went through, that’s all.” I cradle her face in my hand. “Just a storm.”

  “Just a storm,” she echoes. “But what if...”

  “Trees fall over all the time. Storms cause damage all the time.” Have to get her to rationalize what’s happened in the grove. Have to keep her with me. Can’t let this be the reason she finally decides that we’re not worth it. I’ll be damned if I let her go. “It’s not just here. There’s a pine down across the road on the other side of town. There are branches everywhere. These trees are just part of the mess left by the storm. If this was a sign wouldn’t the damage only be here? More personal. Something that only affects us.”

  “I suppose so.” She glances around at the destruction last night’s weather produced. “It’s such a mess.”

  “It doesn’t matter. It’s nothing. We’ll clean it up. We’ll fix it.” I wrap my arms around her and press my lips to her hair. “And we’ll prepare for the next storm.” Whenever and whatever that will be. Get the feeling it’ll be soon though. It twists me up inside. Makes my heart hammer. I can’t stand to imagine her reaction. The idea of her not being here. It opens a void in my chest.

  How am I supposed to tell her about my deal with Liv when she’s waiting for something to go wrong between us? I have to though. I can’t keep this secret from her anymore. It’ll only make things worse. Can’t fall any deeper for her without knowing whether she’ll stay despite my flaws, keep being my wife even when I’m not sure I deserve it, and give me the future I’ve started to believe is possible only if she’s in it.

  She steps out of my arms, and I want to drag her back in. Hold onto her as long and as tightly as I can. “We should—”

  “Well, at least... sorry I interrupted you.” she says.

  “Doesn’t matter,” I say. Not sure how to tell her anyway. “What were you going to say?”

  “That there won’t be as many oranges to worry about next season.” Her brow crinkles. “That’s a positive, right?”

  “Yeah, Angel.” I glance around at what’s left. Have to assess the damage and work out how many trees are still viable. Work out whether to chop them down or let them be. “That’s a good thing.”

  “Okay, good.” She fidgets with a strand of her hair and tucks it behind her ear as though putting away her worries about this being a sign. Please let that be the case. “What did you want to say?”

  “We should go inside. I bought coffee and cupcakes while I was in town. Thought you could do with a pick me up after last night.”

  “I could use a good strong cup.” She nods.

  “I have to get back to work soon,” I tell her as we walk through the grove to the path that leads up to the cabin. I don’t want to leave her here to stare at the destruction the storm caused. Don’t want her mind on it. “Do you want to come with me?”

  “Okay.” She smiles. “I can bring my laptop and work in the truck.”

  I call Liv when I get a chance. It’s mid-afternoon and Beck’s cross-legged in the cab, her laptop balanced on her lap. I have no idea what she’s working on. She refuses to show me. So naturally I’m fucking curious.

  She glances in the side mirror and gives me a smile while I stand near the truck bed waiting for my call to connect. The guys from the hardware store are busy unloading their order.

  I wave to her and scuff the dirt with my boot. The more time I have to think about how to tell her about the deal with Liv the more likely it becomes that Beck will think I’m only staying married to her for the money and the studio.

  I might be able to convince her I didn’t know that I needed her signature to sell the studio and that marrying her kept it out of Lena’s grabby paws, especially since I could ask Dad’s estate lawyer to back me up. But coupled with the fact that I refused to sign the papers to start with because of the money? She’s going to hate me. Keeping it from her doesn’t sit well in my gut though. If there’s any chance of her forgiving me I have to come clean.

  As soon as Liv picks up, I burst out with, “I have to tell her about the money.”

  “You can’t,” she says.

  “I have to. Can’t keep it from her. She’s going to find out at some point.” I walk away from the truck and Beck’s occasional glimpses through the mirror.

  “That’s if she stays,” Liv says. “If you tell her she’s not going to stick around.”

  “If I don’t she’ll leave anyway.” Fuck. It’s a catch 22. I’m screwed. Worse than when Lena was trying to take everything. “Either way I’m letting her down. If I tell her now though, it might not be so bad. Maybe she’ll understand why I had to take you up on your offer. Maybe I can make her see that how I feel about her isn’t related to the money.” I hope so. It feels like lies as the words come out of my mouth.

  “I have no doubt she’ll understand,” Liv says. “She cares about you a lot. More than I thought she would.”

  “Is that so?” I take my first full breath since Liv answered.

  “Yes, but I’m not sure it’ll be enough to keep her from leaving. And if she does that your money goes with her.”

  So much for breathing. Losing Beck... the idea crushes my lungs. Losing the money... I’m letting my family down again. It feels like the earth should open under me. No. I can survive without the money. “I was doing fine before you came along with your deal. I can do it again. But I can’t say the same about her. I don’t want to lose her.”

  Liv takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She sounds defeated. “So how do you want to handle telling her?”

  “Don’t know,” I grumble as I rub the back of my neck. “You know her better than I do. You’re her best friend. Figured you might have some advice. Or at least that you should have a heads up since I’m not the only one in this situation, Liv. You set this ball in motion. And you haven’t told her either.”

  “I haven’t exactly hidden it from her,” she says, but uncertainty leaks into her voice.

  I turn on my heel and walk back toward the truck. “You haven’t been open with her. I don’t know that she’ll notice the distinction.”

  “You’re right.” She sighs. “Of course you’re right. She’s been so shut off for so long. I had hope, you know, when she told me she married you. Hope that she could actually be happy and human again. That she could finally deal with what happened. I had to give her a push. Like she would have for me. But I’ve made everything worse, haven’t I?”

  “Christ. I can’t answer that.” Without Liv I would have signed the papers and let Beck go. She wouldn’t have stuck around. I wouldn’t know the girl I married. Wouldn’t be aware of how caring and smart she is. Wouldn’t
be feeling this loss that’s threatening to swallow me up. Can’t wish for that.

  “Okay. We’ll tell her,” Liv says. “We’ll tell her together. Maybe it will help soften the blow.”

  “Fuck, I hope so,” I say as I catch another smile from Beck. Maybe she’ll understand. Stick around. Let me prove how much she means to me. “When?”

  “Give me a couple days. I’m actually in New York at the moment. My board called an emergency meeting. But I’ll be back in Reverence in forty-eight hours.”

  “A couple days?” I can handle that. What’s two more days when I’ve kept this information from Beck for weeks? Have to work out how to get her to understand anyway.

  “As soon as I get back,” Liv promises. “I’ll call you. We’ll work out how to tell her. Together.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Love is finding a man who shoulders your fears

  Doesn’t discount your worries

  And makes you want to be a better person

  BECK

  “Two calls in a month. This must be some kind of record,” Dash mutters down the phone. In the background I can hear a woman’s voice asking if he knows where her underwear went. “Sorry, half pint, give me a sec.” He covers the phone and his voice is muffled as he says, “No fucking clue.”

  “Who is that?” I ask when the sound clears.

  “No one,” he tells me. Bedsprings squeak. “What do you need help with this time? Got some more furniture you need to put together?”

  “N-no.” I’m not sure how to broach what I need to ask him. Jessie is such a sore spot for him. Talking about her... well, he hasn’t, not since she passed. If anything it’s almost as though she never existed. So asking him whether there was any sign of the curse in the days and weeks leading up to her death isn’t a conversation either of us want to have. But I need to know that the trees aren’t a warning that my world is about to crumble.

  “Coffee?” the woman asks.

  “There’s a café on the corner. You can get a great quality cup there.”

  “Should I get bagels too?” she asks.

  “No. Actually. This is kind of an important conversation. How about I give you a call later in the week?”

  “You don’t have coffee?” I ask. He always has coffee. Always. He never doesn’t have coffee in his kitchen. He might as well attach a drip, he consumes that much caffeine.

  A door shuts. “Of course I have coffee. Now what did you say you needed?”

  “I... Were there any signs before...”

  “Out with it, half pint,” he grumbles, mucking around in his kitchen. I can hear cupboard doors shutting, cutlery rattling, the beeping from the fridge because he’s left the door open.

  “The curse. Are there signs that everything is about to go to hell?” I cross my fingers behind my back. Please tell me there aren’t. I don’t want to leave. But I can’t stay if it’s going to make things worse. “In the weeks before, was there anything to suggest that the curse was real?”

  “You want to know if I knew Jessie was dying?” His voice drops dangerously low and hollow. “Is that what you’re asking me?”

  “I’m asking you whether anything weird happened?” Like trees falling down. “Anything that made you wonder.”

  “The curse isn’t real,” he snarls. “It’s our family’s fucking horror story to keep from getting hurt. How can you be so hung up on statistics and the science of love and not get that?”

  “I don’t want to believe in it,” I whisper. “I don’t, but I’m scared anyway.”

  “You’re scared?” he asks, softening. “How come? What’s going on?”

  I fill him in. Tell him about how I married a stranger in Vegas. How I’m now living with this guy as man and wife. That all the knowledge in the world didn’t keep me from developing feelings for Nox. “I think I might l—”

  “Don’t say it,” he interrupts. “Don’t you dare say the L.O.V.E. word.”

  “Why? Is that something to do with the curse?”

  “No,” he says. “It’d just be weird. You never use that word except with Liv. I’m not sure I’d be able to handle it.”

  “Okay, but still, I think I might. And I can’t remember there being any warning that something was about to go wrong before the accident. You know my memory has been patchy ever since—”

  “There weren’t any warnings or signs or whatever you want to call them. With you or with Jessie. There was nothing to warn us at all. The accident happened so quickly. And with Jessie it crept up on us. But it wasn’t because we’re cursed, Beck. It was just life.”

  “All these trees fell over,” I tell him. “Nox has an orange grove. So many trees. And a storm came through a couple nights ago. The wind flattened half the trees. Lightning struck at least one other. It was so destructive.”

  “And you started worrying it was a sign.” He lets out a deep breath. His coffee cup thuds against his desk. His keyboard clicks as he wakes his computer.

  “Nox says that we make our own path. I want to believe him so badly.” I shiver and wrap an arm around my waist to warm myself. “But we’ve been married twenty-two months and one week. If the curse is real, then wouldn’t things start to go wrong now? Like the trees. I don’t know how much I can take.”

  “Your Nox, what’s he like?” he asks. The clicking stops. “He must be pretty damn impressive for you to be talking about the L word and sticking around.”

  “He is.”

  “And you’ve told him about the curse and he doesn’t think you’re crazy?”

  “Right.”

  “Then tell him why you’re really stressing out. I know you probably think it’ll freak him out, but I’m willing to bet it won’t.”

  “But what if...” I can’t bring myself to say it. Can’t bear to think about it in anything other than a series of numbers. Forty-five percent. Three minutes and thirty-six seconds. Five percent. “I can’t.”

  “You kind of have to. For your own sake. Otherwise, curse or no curse, you’re always going to be waiting for something to go wrong and if you’re going to do that, you might as well walk away now.”

  “You’d like Nox,” I tell him, smiling though my eyes are watery. Having Dash tell me the same thing Nox would helps make my mind up. “You’d get along well.”

  “Good. I’m looking forward to meeting him,” he says. “But now I have work to do. Call me after. Or if you need any more help with furniture.”

  “I won’t. Nox is great with that. Did you know there’s something so appealing about watching a man put together furniture that I was completely missing out on. Especially if he’s not wearing a shirt.”

  “Bye half-pint.” The line drops dead.

  I clasp my phone in my lap while Hollander nudges his warm head against my arm until I pet him. “You agree too, don’t you?”

  Hollander trills a hoarse reply that I’m pretty sure is a yes.

  “You know, I promised myself I wouldn’t get attached. But you and Nox are sneaky buggers.” I hug the poor animal before setting him back on the bed. He’s grumpy and curls up with his back to me to sleep. He loves his naps more than I do recently. “Somehow I can’t imagine my life without you now.”

  So how do I tell Nox? Getting up, I head into the kitchen. He won’t be home for a little bit yet, and I need to be busy. Nerves already swarm me like angry bees.

  My heart slams against my chest. A woman sits at the counter on one of the stools that Nox handcrafted. Her back is to me, but it’s not Lou, and I don’t know any other women who would show up out of the blue like this. She doesn’t notice me until I’m in front of her. She’s too busy flicking through the papers in front of her. The until now unopened envelope at the bottom.

  I didn’t hear her come in while I was talking to Dash. Didn’t expect anyone. Actually I’m certain I locked the cabin door. A habit I can’t shake even out here where normally there’s no one around. “H-hello.”

  “Hi.” She glances up and smiles at me
with pearly straight teeth. The assortment of silver bracelets she wears around her bony wrist clink against each other as she pushes a platinum curl behind her ear. “You must be Beckett.”

  “I am.” I tread closer. She looks a little familiar. I’ve seen her before somewhere. Recently. “Do I know you?”

  “No.” Her dark eyes are friendly as she gestures at the papers in front of her. “We’ve never met, but I can tell you’re an intelligent woman.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t catch your name.” I glance at my phone. It’s still early and Nox won’t be home for a while yet. I tap out a quick message to let him know that there’s a stranger in his kitchen and send it to him. “Are you a friend of Nox’s?”

  “Yes I am. Old friends. We knew each other very well once upon a time.” She climbs off the stool and moves around the counter. She’s so thin and perfectly put together. Like a supermodel. Or apple pie and ice cream before you binge on it and it gives you a bellyache. She grabs glasses and the corkscrew as though we’re standing in her kitchen and not Nox’s. “How about a glass of wine?”

  It feels rude not to pull a bottle out of the fridge. Especially if she and Nox are friends.

  “Thanks.” She takes it from me and pours equal measures.

  I glance around the cabin. My home. Something is off. I feel like a stranger for the first time since I moved in. Like I don’t belong here. One glass and I’ll ask her to leave, let her know Nox will call her when he gets home.

  “Here’s to making new friends.” She hands me a glass. Everything about her is slim. “I’m Lena by the way.”

  “Lena?”

  “You’ve heard of me?” She lifts the glass to her lips.